The name of the game - W A I T

What's the name of the game? Perseverance? Open one eye close one eye? Forget everything and go for the dollars? So much of world views clouding around me each day.

I once thought to be placed in Crete, to be a testimony, His light and salt...oh tell me, You alone know how difficult it is! Another good friend threw in the towel yesterday...I suddenly felt as if part of me is drowned...I too, once saw this glimpse of light and thought my time was near...yet, it turned into cold coal that isn't burning now. I'd rather it be ashes then I can totally wipe that off my mind...sigh...some things are just plain out of our control.

Words can't express how I feel and the tremendous pressure pushing me against the wall. The joy that I once had, has gone ever since...the first day I came? And to make things worse, I'm tied here, over and over again...and finally when all the terms on paper are settled...here comes another crush on my hope. Why? I asked. Silent. Total silent. I'm absolutely sure that You have heard me. But what does silent means? Wait longer? Pray harder? Stay closer? I'm dumb enough to not understand what Your thoughts and plans are. Yet in my mind it tells me You hold the world in Your hands and You are Sovereign. So I will still trust. I choose to trust. But how long can I stand? Can You see that I'm not able to stand in this strong wind anymore? I'm meek, cold, alone and defeated. But suddenly again I caught a glimpse of Your word...

If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray, I will hear from heaven, I will answer their prayer and restore their land.

So what am I waiting for? Instantly said a prayer. I want so much the way I hope things to happen. But I want Your will to be done more. It's proven I'm a failure in choosing, except for You, of course :) So still quietly I ask...deliver me...I don't know how're You gonna do it. But You're just like my superman...You know...

Yesterday someone asked me a funny question, "Are you still working?"...I was like...Duh...What kind of question is that...OF COURSE I'm working! Unless if there's some rich guy who love me so much not to let me work...*piak* wake up!!! If there's such a person, I'll tell him, sorry I won't marry you if you don't let me work! If ever I'm not working in the secular world, I know I'll be working somewhere in the world where He places me.

It's a cold morning here...it's been raining frequently these couple of weeks...how nice if I can wake up in a relax mode, and have a grande hot latte beside my bed...there goes The Everly Brothers..."All I have to do is dream...dream dream dream..."