Ever tried grasping air?

Nearly hitting a year...there are heart pounding times which i have went through, heart aching times which i have yet want to mention. Ever since the passing of ma, it clears that line off entirely from my family tree...i realized i missed them more than before, wanting to talk to them more than before...probably because I will never get to anymore.

I begin to wonder why do we only treasure things when we are at the verge of losing it or lost it? Think, you'll know it applies to us all the time. Either we are too caught up with lives to realize it, or we are too comfortable with the existence of someone or something that we have taken them for granted. I urge myself, remind myself to not let any of these pass me by...every opportunity where i am able to touch lives.

At times i wonder, it's probably not too good a thing...yet it is just so me. God created me with these qualities which i sometimes dont know it's good or bad, and love yet hate. He taught me to trust that He knows best, and He created me specifically with these qualities for His glory.

Sitting by the window where i thought about the nights earlier, the blurred vision and the sudden wake doesn't seem to jive. I know the math and i know the answer....yet you don't get any marks if you don't show the calculation process...now that's the hardest to score....Ever tried grasping air with your hands? At that point it's exactly how it feels like....it's real, but you will never be able to hold it. You gotta keep inhaling, keep going, not giving up, in order to enjoy air the careful planned way it's supposed to be. Why? I dont know, but He does.