Veni. Vidi. Vici.

I come, I see, I conquer. Those were the exact words of Napoleon...
Months ago when I was seriously considering to take the step of faith for this trip, it really gave me goosebumps thinking about it. It still does.

Having to go through the journey to the summit via Mesilau trail, it was really a time of testing my patience. Why Mesilau? Well according to CS, Mesilau is for Heroes and Timpohon are for Sissys...and I got up that trail, as a hero. Sweet. The 10 hour climb up 8.5km was long and painful, especially at the beginning i already have difficulty breathing and it was really painful literally. All through the journey I have this walking stick with me, which reminds me of 'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me'. Indeed, times where I really couldnt go on anymore, I recited Psalms 23 to keep me going.

And finally, up to Laban Rata, just in time for dinner before it closes. That night was a cold and stressful night as everyone is trying hard to sleep in for the 2am climb to the summit. I made it up despite having the guide advising me not to. I felt ok that morning but once I started a 10min climb, I felt that I started to regret. But I wanted to keep going so much. Weather was exceptionally good that day and I knew, I could make it further. Steps after steps gets harder especially passed 7.5km...where breathing really gets tougher for me.

Looking at Low's peak, I eventually made a stop at 8.4km, a mere 300m away from the peak. Watching most of them striving hard towards the peak, I stood, sat, lied down and took my rest to regain breath and energy that I much needed. The sky's already fully bright now though it was only a quarter past 6am. It was truly splendid up there, with the breathtaking views and scenic shots I managed to capture. I'm above the clouds! And once again, I'm marveled at His creation. So beautiful!

The journey downhill after breakfast from Laban Rata was...unexpected. It rained through the 5 hours and I was cold, feet soaked wet, hungry and alone. Worse still, I only had my bottle with me without any energy bar, and I was so hungry and strengthless. All I could do was keep going, faster and faster, to get something to eat when I got down to the Kinabalu park. To come to think of it, it was quite scary to have climbed down all by myself. But I was shown mercy, and experienced grace like never before.

Mt Kinabalu, 21-22 Aug 2010. My first encounter in the west tip of Borneo. I will be back.

Still a child

Back to childhood

When time is longer
When mummy is younger
When doubts are greater
When dreams are further

When ideas are crazier
When roads are cleaner
When people are nicer
When friends are closer

When lifestyle is healthier
When hope is higher
When laughter is easier
When faith is simpler

Longing to go back in time
Where I will never be allowed to
Times when I can cry out loud for the simplest things
Not knowing that I can have the inability to do so one day

Yet when the world around is like a whirlwind
I am still welcomed
By the familiar Arms, wide opened

LOVE = R-I-S-K

爱真的需要勇气...the tune of Fish Leong's famous song was lingering in my mind as I got back from a short prayer time earlier...the phrase "what I need is courage" is hammering my thoughts so hard that I could feel it so strong...

Many times in our lives, we make choices to love. You choose to love the food you like, love the people who are dear to you, love the things you own, love the environment you're in...which is why I always believe that there's no such thing as 'I can't stop myself from loving...' As a matter of fact, it's a choice that we make, to love and not to love.

But what happens when you are called to love someone that you find so hard to love yet have no choice but to obey? Especially when you know you're vulnerable and prone to hurt, not just to yourself but possibly to others whom you love. [Selah]

I paused as I ended that sentence...someOne was called to love me, who are so imperfect and so hard to love, He knows He's vulnerable and compassion enough for me, and prone to be hurt by me, yet, He chose to obey. With that, I got my answer for tonight.

Love is many times spelt as R-I-S-K...I find so hard to take the step to continue loving, or loving more, I find myself drawing a boundary saying enough, I don't wanna know more...I don't have the courage to love, is because I don't want to take the risk. I'd rather keep in my comfort zone and do what I thought best. But someOne risked His life and took the costly way to redeem my life. And just as I was wondering how much would it cost me, I was told it's free. What if He turned around and decided at that very hour that I wasn't that worth for Him to love? Hopes dashed and burnt into ashes. But He took the risk. Loved me just as I am. And for the first time in my life, I too, took the risk to love someOne that I have never seen. By faith alone. If I can see everything that is happening ahead from me, that why do I need faith anyway?

What I got was grace. What I could give, is only grace.