So long, twenty ten....

A year that is ending with much relaxation as our young tigers won some Cup and entitle the whole nation a day off on new year's eve. I have decided much earlier that I'll have a day off this day to be away, just away from the pushy reality I'm in. I needed a break so badly to shake off the tensed moments and juggled up thoughts.

And today as I flash upon the happenings in 2010....this fragile soul of mine is filled with awe and reverence on how Sovereign He is. Every part of it, He has so carefully planned, and painted the picture so beautifully for me. I still couldn't put in words how could the final two weeks went oops but deep inside of me, I know that His assuring words in Jeremiah never fails. For He knows the plans He have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.

Someone told me the other day that if we had known everything and have an answer to every 'why'.....we don't need the Almighty anymore. Simple profound truth. Mind boggling truth.

The chinese says a good starts marks half way to success...yet, the journey of faith is not about how we start....it's all about how we finish. I thank God today that this year end doesn't mark the end of my journey. I thank God today that I have a chance to come back to Him.

Father, I'm sorry, I've wronged You in my sinful ways, but I thank You that You forgive me, and love me as I am. Thank You.
I want to finish well, I pray.

The ugly truth

Wonder why movie was named so....probably those type that A would love to watch :)
Not knowing what is it related, I ponder upon the word ugly....are all truths ugly? The most profound truth for mankind, still rejected unto this day, I could find no words to describe its significance in my life. But using the word beautiful to describe that truth? Ugly does sounds closer. No amount of description for ugliness represents the heart of the Romans at that very time, the hatred they spat, the mortal weakness they cherish.....A beautiful solution, an ugly truth.

I begin recalling that most of the time, truths are ugly, but it carries the most important element in it, it's none but the truth. When the true colors of mankind's nature first shown, A&E had to be chased out of Eden, it was ugly. The package of truth comes also with guilt, shame, pain, hurt and worst of all unforgiveness. Many years ago someone told me that forgiveness is a choice. A choice we could all make, crossing the thin fine line of punishing yourself and others into the freedom of facing the truth.

The ugly truth that is hammering me, and pinching my every bit to be awaken from the dream.....that dream? this dream? which dream? It's not important anymore.....Ouch~ I realized I am mere human, I too, know how pain is like, how hurt is like. Not saying ouch, doesnt mean I don't feel it, doesnt mean I'm immune to it. Interesting devotion I read this morning, Selwyn is writing about me. I am not to deny or to express the unpositive emotions, but acknowledge it. It's there, nothing can deny. It'l be there, even if I express. It'l be gone, when I acknowledge my meekness and let Him heal me.

Be calm, be brave, vivid words that cloud my mind. You are my strength, my hope, like no other.

our love, His love...

If you love something, set it free
If it comes back to you, it's yours
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be...

He loves me, sets me free
He waits for me to come back
He walks with me even when I wander away...

Only He, sees the depth of my heart and love me the same.

Christmas. Blessed.

I wonder why everytime the familiar voice of Sheryl Crow and Sting never fail to soothe me a little. Somehow, the words that doesn't bring much meaning, but the tune that fills the heart is something i couldn't really explain....warm, and touching...

What a christmas, 2010. Things deep in the heart that only me and the Almighty will ever know, those that meant to be bottled and shared during my time alone, because I know that only in Him I will be loved just because I am me, fearfully and wonderfully made. Fairytales are made for princesses....like me ;)

Will be unwrapping the Christmas gift i got for myself....The Chronicles of Narnia...that's what Christmas is all about...unwrapping and discovering the One important gift of all!

This Christmas, I am blessed.

December 2010

When familiar faces are no longer around, heart warming voices are miles apart, encouragement and concerns are only through a link between continents...these times, are the loneliest, quietest, longest.
A silent night where I remember those laughter and tensed moments that we shared. I miss you, friends who are everywhere in the world, who are in my connection in the borderless cyber world. I do, miss you.

Jingles and carols are reminding me of a joyous season, remembering the birth of Christ, sounding the whistle towards the end of the year's chapter. 5 goals, I remember, all 5 of them. I did 3. Praise God!

With an unknown road forward, I know I must plan for time to plan. Given wisdom and knowledge, it's too big a responsibility of wasting time, talent and treasure, that are assigned unto me. A new year coming ahead...exciting journey filled with uncertainties...His love endures forever. Never will He leave me, never will He forsake me.