Melodiously the familiar lines filled the air...I hadn't expect someone listening to this as I have never heard anyone did. Same words could mean so many different things especially when it's nearer to the 'it's complicated' state. Never had I wish to go thru yet the roller coaster of life does pass this very path on its track.
A step closer to what You prepared for me I hope. Yet, a still small voice tells me otherwise.
Flashback of the fallen tears wiped the screen cleaner, clearer and closer, to the reality.
Always on my side, are You. and you?
Monday, June 25, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Thorny torn times...
It's a familiar walk, the feeling of every chilled thorn piercing through the skin reminds me vividly of it. Not a feeling that I fancy.
I bled as I went through those thoughts of it...because I feel so much for her. Solution that I myself wouldn't imagine trying, I couldnt picture that fragile kid through that real hard time. I know it's tough, dear. Yet there's so little that I can do. Sometimes I feel words break the beauty of companionship....yet silence compliments it.
Speechless, I am now. You alone know why. I thank God that in these thorny torn times You are our pillar of strength. May you walk us out with your grace....and God you bless the broken road, that led me straight to You.
I bled as I went through those thoughts of it...because I feel so much for her. Solution that I myself wouldn't imagine trying, I couldnt picture that fragile kid through that real hard time. I know it's tough, dear. Yet there's so little that I can do. Sometimes I feel words break the beauty of companionship....yet silence compliments it.
Speechless, I am now. You alone know why. I thank God that in these thorny torn times You are our pillar of strength. May you walk us out with your grace....and God you bless the broken road, that led me straight to You.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Ever tried grasping air?
Nearly hitting a year...there are heart pounding times which i have went through, heart aching times which i have yet want to mention. Ever since the passing of ma, it clears that line off entirely from my family tree...i realized i missed them more than before, wanting to talk to them more than before...probably because I will never get to anymore.
I begin to wonder why do we only treasure things when we are at the verge of losing it or lost it? Think, you'll know it applies to us all the time. Either we are too caught up with lives to realize it, or we are too comfortable with the existence of someone or something that we have taken them for granted. I urge myself, remind myself to not let any of these pass me by...every opportunity where i am able to touch lives.
At times i wonder, it's probably not too good a thing...yet it is just so me. God created me with these qualities which i sometimes dont know it's good or bad, and love yet hate. He taught me to trust that He knows best, and He created me specifically with these qualities for His glory.
Sitting by the window where i thought about the nights earlier, the blurred vision and the sudden wake doesn't seem to jive. I know the math and i know the answer....yet you don't get any marks if you don't show the calculation process...now that's the hardest to score....Ever tried grasping air with your hands? At that point it's exactly how it feels like....it's real, but you will never be able to hold it. You gotta keep inhaling, keep going, not giving up, in order to enjoy air the careful planned way it's supposed to be. Why? I dont know, but He does.
I begin to wonder why do we only treasure things when we are at the verge of losing it or lost it? Think, you'll know it applies to us all the time. Either we are too caught up with lives to realize it, or we are too comfortable with the existence of someone or something that we have taken them for granted. I urge myself, remind myself to not let any of these pass me by...every opportunity where i am able to touch lives.
At times i wonder, it's probably not too good a thing...yet it is just so me. God created me with these qualities which i sometimes dont know it's good or bad, and love yet hate. He taught me to trust that He knows best, and He created me specifically with these qualities for His glory.
Sitting by the window where i thought about the nights earlier, the blurred vision and the sudden wake doesn't seem to jive. I know the math and i know the answer....yet you don't get any marks if you don't show the calculation process...now that's the hardest to score....Ever tried grasping air with your hands? At that point it's exactly how it feels like....it's real, but you will never be able to hold it. You gotta keep inhaling, keep going, not giving up, in order to enjoy air the careful planned way it's supposed to be. Why? I dont know, but He does.
Friday, March 25, 2011
因为有你⋯⋯
頻頻天災的發生，痛心的報導讓我不想看也不想聽到任何最新消息⋯⋯
我不知道世界末日會在甚麼時候到來⋯⋯
我也不曉得該如何更保護家人或自己⋯⋯
我只知道
因為有祢 破碎的能歌唱
因為有祢 心中充滿盼望 我還能活出夢想
雖然心里有許多許多的疑惑，然而，我學習把這一切都交給祢，知道在祢裡面有答案！
或許⋯⋯我根本不需要答案⋯⋯
當我投入祢的懷抱中，一切的問號已經不重要了
因為有祢 生命能延續
因為有祢 我不再有恐懼 心能夠得安息
当生命里的压迫不断冲向我， 你的恩典够我用⋯⋯
我能继续向前，只因为有你。
部分取之主内姐妹面子书留言
我不知道世界末日會在甚麼時候到來⋯⋯
我也不曉得該如何更保護家人或自己⋯⋯
我只知道
因為有祢 破碎的能歌唱
因為有祢 心中充滿盼望 我還能活出夢想
雖然心里有許多許多的疑惑，然而，我學習把這一切都交給祢，知道在祢裡面有答案！
或許⋯⋯我根本不需要答案⋯⋯
當我投入祢的懷抱中，一切的問號已經不重要了
因為有祢 生命能延續
因為有祢 我不再有恐懼 心能夠得安息
当生命里的压迫不断冲向我， 你的恩典够我用⋯⋯
我能继续向前，只因为有你。
部分取之主内姐妹面子书留言
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Left unspoken
Drafted about valentines earlier, but had been too caught up with things and hadn't had a chance to publish it....now that i'm in want of posting, the post seem expired....hence I decided not to. Probably keeping it for some time until I cleared it out the box, or keep until I next have a chance to post it.
How many times we're at the verge of uttering some words but never grab the opportunity to?
How many times we still go ahead and utter it even when the right timing is long gone?
How many times we finally waited until the next right timing to let it out?
How many times, we never had a chance to say what was meant to be said?
Human are often greedy, thinking to get a better timing, better person, better opportunity, which we may never get, and worse still, missed the earlier boat. It's all the battle of the mind, what we think and how we decide, and which is the final winning side.
The place where many dreams were buried, the grave, is also a place people stood by, in silence, in tears, or in the mind, uttering words left unspoken.....
How many times we're at the verge of uttering some words but never grab the opportunity to?
How many times we still go ahead and utter it even when the right timing is long gone?
How many times we finally waited until the next right timing to let it out?
How many times, we never had a chance to say what was meant to be said?
Human are often greedy, thinking to get a better timing, better person, better opportunity, which we may never get, and worse still, missed the earlier boat. It's all the battle of the mind, what we think and how we decide, and which is the final winning side.
The place where many dreams were buried, the grave, is also a place people stood by, in silence, in tears, or in the mind, uttering words left unspoken.....
Monday, January 17, 2011
One way street
Taking a wrong lane led me to a longer way home today. The everyday road towards home which is so familiar...yet i took a wrong way....despite the familiarities....times where rationalities are clouded by a dreaming mind....
How many times have i taken a longer way towards my destiny because of a wrong turn, a wrong exit, a wrong lane, or led by a wrong gps signal? Numerous. I wonder if i could see the map of my life in the eyes of His, and probably i'll laugh at my stupidity and blurness of taking all the wrong ways, which took me to a longer route towards where i'm supposed to be earlier. Yet His assuring words says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". And not only that, He does everything in His time.
He foreknew the turns i would take, far before i arrived at the crossroad. Why then? Didnt You alert me? Why didnt You grab me before i took that way. I did, He says....but I love you too much to make you a robot, which is why I let you choose. Choices. Sometimes I really hate them. Too little, we complain boring; too many, we became indecisive. They say women are hard to please. Sometimes i kinda agree :) Worst, after all the considerations, it's still a wrong choice, that's what i dreaded.
Am i too a perfectionist that i cant stand a mistake in my life? Or rather, is that i wish there were better ways to learn lessons instead of going thru the hard ways, which i chose them. Sometimes I tend to forget, and i guess people around me forget too...that i, am not a superwoman. Just a mere human sustained by His everlasting grace.
And i'm in need of more, to stay on the one way street leading me back Home....
How many times have i taken a longer way towards my destiny because of a wrong turn, a wrong exit, a wrong lane, or led by a wrong gps signal? Numerous. I wonder if i could see the map of my life in the eyes of His, and probably i'll laugh at my stupidity and blurness of taking all the wrong ways, which took me to a longer route towards where i'm supposed to be earlier. Yet His assuring words says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". And not only that, He does everything in His time.
He foreknew the turns i would take, far before i arrived at the crossroad. Why then? Didnt You alert me? Why didnt You grab me before i took that way. I did, He says....but I love you too much to make you a robot, which is why I let you choose. Choices. Sometimes I really hate them. Too little, we complain boring; too many, we became indecisive. They say women are hard to please. Sometimes i kinda agree :) Worst, after all the considerations, it's still a wrong choice, that's what i dreaded.
Am i too a perfectionist that i cant stand a mistake in my life? Or rather, is that i wish there were better ways to learn lessons instead of going thru the hard ways, which i chose them. Sometimes I tend to forget, and i guess people around me forget too...that i, am not a superwoman. Just a mere human sustained by His everlasting grace.
And i'm in need of more, to stay on the one way street leading me back Home....
Monday, January 10, 2011
Have you found your package?
Many things in life, comes in a package....
With life, we have aging, getting sick, and death.
With love, we have misunderstandings, quarrels, sweet moments, and heartaches.
With truth, we have relief, pain, and often a pinch.
With great power, we have great responsibilities...
Since when I started pondering the packages of life, wonder why had He package things in such a way? Or rather, many times it was our homo sapien's shallow minds and hurried decisions that caused us into these kind of packages? The good package of creation comes with pleasure, purpose and eternal life. Yet a simple act of disobedience repackaged it. And often, we put the blame on someone, somewhere, someOne else...We wouldn't be able to understand how wrong we have been until we begin to embrace the good orginal purpose of mankind, and to accept the undying love of God towards human, and to build our faith on Christ whom people so condemned on the cross.
Some thought that one is not good enough to be a christian...truth is, none of us are. He come to heal the broken, cure the sick, and forgive the sinners. Not to gather perfect men to the heavenly club. Some thought life is meant for enjoyment, so let's wait till before one is dying, then we'll talk about religion...truth is, there's no religious talk here...it's only about the relationship with God the Father, to come back to His heartbeat for us, and mind you....nobody will know when is our last hour. I just got a news this morning of a passing away ex-coll of mine, who was supposed to get married this year....mind hammering news....i couldnt help to hold back the numbness i felt. Life is short, what do you want to use it for?
The package of sin, has came with the promising salvation through Christ. Have you found it?
Gazing upon the promising cross of a faithful friend, I know, I found where I belong.
With life, we have aging, getting sick, and death.
With love, we have misunderstandings, quarrels, sweet moments, and heartaches.
With truth, we have relief, pain, and often a pinch.
With great power, we have great responsibilities...
Since when I started pondering the packages of life, wonder why had He package things in such a way? Or rather, many times it was our homo sapien's shallow minds and hurried decisions that caused us into these kind of packages? The good package of creation comes with pleasure, purpose and eternal life. Yet a simple act of disobedience repackaged it. And often, we put the blame on someone, somewhere, someOne else...We wouldn't be able to understand how wrong we have been until we begin to embrace the good orginal purpose of mankind, and to accept the undying love of God towards human, and to build our faith on Christ whom people so condemned on the cross.
Some thought that one is not good enough to be a christian...truth is, none of us are. He come to heal the broken, cure the sick, and forgive the sinners. Not to gather perfect men to the heavenly club. Some thought life is meant for enjoyment, so let's wait till before one is dying, then we'll talk about religion...truth is, there's no religious talk here...it's only about the relationship with God the Father, to come back to His heartbeat for us, and mind you....nobody will know when is our last hour. I just got a news this morning of a passing away ex-coll of mine, who was supposed to get married this year....mind hammering news....i couldnt help to hold back the numbness i felt. Life is short, what do you want to use it for?
The package of sin, has came with the promising salvation through Christ. Have you found it?
Gazing upon the promising cross of a faithful friend, I know, I found where I belong.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
So long, twenty ten....
A year that is ending with much relaxation as our young tigers won some Cup and entitle the whole nation a day off on new year's eve. I have decided much earlier that I'll have a day off this day to be away, just away from the pushy reality I'm in. I needed a break so badly to shake off the tensed moments and juggled up thoughts.
And today as I flash upon the happenings in 2010....this fragile soul of mine is filled with awe and reverence on how Sovereign He is. Every part of it, He has so carefully planned, and painted the picture so beautifully for me. I still couldn't put in words how could the final two weeks went oops but deep inside of me, I know that His assuring words in Jeremiah never fails. For He knows the plans He have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.
Someone told me the other day that if we had known everything and have an answer to every 'why'.....we don't need the Almighty anymore. Simple profound truth. Mind boggling truth.
The chinese says a good starts marks half way to success...yet, the journey of faith is not about how we start....it's all about how we finish. I thank God today that this year end doesn't mark the end of my journey. I thank God today that I have a chance to come back to Him.
Father, I'm sorry, I've wronged You in my sinful ways, but I thank You that You forgive me, and love me as I am. Thank You.
I want to finish well, I pray.
And today as I flash upon the happenings in 2010....this fragile soul of mine is filled with awe and reverence on how Sovereign He is. Every part of it, He has so carefully planned, and painted the picture so beautifully for me. I still couldn't put in words how could the final two weeks went oops but deep inside of me, I know that His assuring words in Jeremiah never fails. For He knows the plans He have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.
Someone told me the other day that if we had known everything and have an answer to every 'why'.....we don't need the Almighty anymore. Simple profound truth. Mind boggling truth.
The chinese says a good starts marks half way to success...yet, the journey of faith is not about how we start....it's all about how we finish. I thank God today that this year end doesn't mark the end of my journey. I thank God today that I have a chance to come back to Him.
Father, I'm sorry, I've wronged You in my sinful ways, but I thank You that You forgive me, and love me as I am. Thank You.
I want to finish well, I pray.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The ugly truth
Wonder why movie was named so....probably those type that A would love to watch :)
Not knowing what is it related, I ponder upon the word ugly....are all truths ugly? The most profound truth for mankind, still rejected unto this day, I could find no words to describe its significance in my life. But using the word beautiful to describe that truth? Ugly does sounds closer. No amount of description for ugliness represents the heart of the Romans at that very time, the hatred they spat, the mortal weakness they cherish.....A beautiful solution, an ugly truth.
I begin recalling that most of the time, truths are ugly, but it carries the most important element in it, it's none but the truth. When the true colors of mankind's nature first shown, A&E had to be chased out of Eden, it was ugly. The package of truth comes also with guilt, shame, pain, hurt and worst of all unforgiveness. Many years ago someone told me that forgiveness is a choice. A choice we could all make, crossing the thin fine line of punishing yourself and others into the freedom of facing the truth.
The ugly truth that is hammering me, and pinching my every bit to be awaken from the dream.....that dream? this dream? which dream? It's not important anymore.....Ouch~ I realized I am mere human, I too, know how pain is like, how hurt is like. Not saying ouch, doesnt mean I don't feel it, doesnt mean I'm immune to it. Interesting devotion I read this morning, Selwyn is writing about me. I am not to deny or to express the unpositive emotions, but acknowledge it. It's there, nothing can deny. It'l be there, even if I express. It'l be gone, when I acknowledge my meekness and let Him heal me.
Be calm, be brave, vivid words that cloud my mind. You are my strength, my hope, like no other.
Not knowing what is it related, I ponder upon the word ugly....are all truths ugly? The most profound truth for mankind, still rejected unto this day, I could find no words to describe its significance in my life. But using the word beautiful to describe that truth? Ugly does sounds closer. No amount of description for ugliness represents the heart of the Romans at that very time, the hatred they spat, the mortal weakness they cherish.....A beautiful solution, an ugly truth.
I begin recalling that most of the time, truths are ugly, but it carries the most important element in it, it's none but the truth. When the true colors of mankind's nature first shown, A&E had to be chased out of Eden, it was ugly. The package of truth comes also with guilt, shame, pain, hurt and worst of all unforgiveness. Many years ago someone told me that forgiveness is a choice. A choice we could all make, crossing the thin fine line of punishing yourself and others into the freedom of facing the truth.
The ugly truth that is hammering me, and pinching my every bit to be awaken from the dream.....that dream? this dream? which dream? It's not important anymore.....Ouch~ I realized I am mere human, I too, know how pain is like, how hurt is like. Not saying ouch, doesnt mean I don't feel it, doesnt mean I'm immune to it. Interesting devotion I read this morning, Selwyn is writing about me. I am not to deny or to express the unpositive emotions, but acknowledge it. It's there, nothing can deny. It'l be there, even if I express. It'l be gone, when I acknowledge my meekness and let Him heal me.
Be calm, be brave, vivid words that cloud my mind. You are my strength, my hope, like no other.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
our love, His love...
If you love something, set it free
If it comes back to you, it's yours
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be...
He loves me, sets me free
He waits for me to come back
He walks with me even when I wander away...
Only He, sees the depth of my heart and love me the same.
If it comes back to you, it's yours
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be...
He loves me, sets me free
He waits for me to come back
He walks with me even when I wander away...
Only He, sees the depth of my heart and love me the same.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas. Blessed.
I wonder why everytime the familiar voice of Sheryl Crow and Sting never fail to soothe me a little. Somehow, the words that doesn't bring much meaning, but the tune that fills the heart is something i couldn't really explain....warm, and touching...
What a christmas, 2010. Things deep in the heart that only me and the Almighty will ever know, those that meant to be bottled and shared during my time alone, because I know that only in Him I will be loved just because I am me, fearfully and wonderfully made. Fairytales are made for princesses....like me ;)
Will be unwrapping the Christmas gift i got for myself....The Chronicles of Narnia...that's what Christmas is all about...unwrapping and discovering the One important gift of all!
This Christmas, I am blessed.
What a christmas, 2010. Things deep in the heart that only me and the Almighty will ever know, those that meant to be bottled and shared during my time alone, because I know that only in Him I will be loved just because I am me, fearfully and wonderfully made. Fairytales are made for princesses....like me ;)
Will be unwrapping the Christmas gift i got for myself....The Chronicles of Narnia...that's what Christmas is all about...unwrapping and discovering the One important gift of all!
This Christmas, I am blessed.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
December 2010
When familiar faces are no longer around, heart warming voices are miles apart, encouragement and concerns are only through a link between continents...these times, are the loneliest, quietest, longest.
A silent night where I remember those laughter and tensed moments that we shared. I miss you, friends who are everywhere in the world, who are in my connection in the borderless cyber world. I do, miss you.
Jingles and carols are reminding me of a joyous season, remembering the birth of Christ, sounding the whistle towards the end of the year's chapter. 5 goals, I remember, all 5 of them. I did 3. Praise God!
With an unknown road forward, I know I must plan for time to plan. Given wisdom and knowledge, it's too big a responsibility of wasting time, talent and treasure, that are assigned unto me. A new year coming ahead...exciting journey filled with uncertainties...His love endures forever. Never will He leave me, never will He forsake me.
A silent night where I remember those laughter and tensed moments that we shared. I miss you, friends who are everywhere in the world, who are in my connection in the borderless cyber world. I do, miss you.
Jingles and carols are reminding me of a joyous season, remembering the birth of Christ, sounding the whistle towards the end of the year's chapter. 5 goals, I remember, all 5 of them. I did 3. Praise God!
With an unknown road forward, I know I must plan for time to plan. Given wisdom and knowledge, it's too big a responsibility of wasting time, talent and treasure, that are assigned unto me. A new year coming ahead...exciting journey filled with uncertainties...His love endures forever. Never will He leave me, never will He forsake me.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Are you confirmed?
A simple shout - I'm confirmed, you'd be surprise on the comments I got...
Confirmation, is a good news to share. People rejoice over it because of the goodbyes to uncertainty and welcome the good gift of identity, which assures being a part of the family and to enjoy the privilege of becoming one. Well, at least that's how I feel when I got the letter in hand :)
While most people cherish the joy of being confirmed in their job and in marriage...how many out there cherish the confirmation of a place in paradise? It's not deemed to be an In-Thing nowadays to welcome the good gift of salvation, that is freely given to us. Because there's no good thing that doesn't require us to pay? Because it's not important, needless to say that it's a priority? Or because people are too ignorant to know that we are in need of One?
The joy of being confirmed as His heir, a far greater identity than any could hope for, a far bigger gift than any could ever imagine...it's yours for free, if you know and reach out your hand to receive.
I'm confirmed. Are you?
Confirmation, is a good news to share. People rejoice over it because of the goodbyes to uncertainty and welcome the good gift of identity, which assures being a part of the family and to enjoy the privilege of becoming one. Well, at least that's how I feel when I got the letter in hand :)
While most people cherish the joy of being confirmed in their job and in marriage...how many out there cherish the confirmation of a place in paradise? It's not deemed to be an In-Thing nowadays to welcome the good gift of salvation, that is freely given to us. Because there's no good thing that doesn't require us to pay? Because it's not important, needless to say that it's a priority? Or because people are too ignorant to know that we are in need of One?
The joy of being confirmed as His heir, a far greater identity than any could hope for, a far bigger gift than any could ever imagine...it's yours for free, if you know and reach out your hand to receive.
I'm confirmed. Are you?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Veni. Vidi. Vici.
I come, I see, I conquer. Those were the exact words of Napoleon...
Months ago when I was seriously considering to take the step of faith for this trip, it really gave me goosebumps thinking about it. It still does.
Having to go through the journey to the summit via Mesilau trail, it was really a time of testing my patience. Why Mesilau? Well according to CS, Mesilau is for Heroes and Timpohon are for Sissys...and I got up that trail, as a hero. Sweet. The 10 hour climb up 8.5km was long and painful, especially at the beginning i already have difficulty breathing and it was really painful literally. All through the journey I have this walking stick with me, which reminds me of 'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me'. Indeed, times where I really couldnt go on anymore, I recited Psalms 23 to keep me going.
And finally, up to Laban Rata, just in time for dinner before it closes. That night was a cold and stressful night as everyone is trying hard to sleep in for the 2am climb to the summit. I made it up despite having the guide advising me not to. I felt ok that morning but once I started a 10min climb, I felt that I started to regret. But I wanted to keep going so much. Weather was exceptionally good that day and I knew, I could make it further. Steps after steps gets harder especially passed 7.5km...where breathing really gets tougher for me.
Looking at Low's peak, I eventually made a stop at 8.4km, a mere 300m away from the peak. Watching most of them striving hard towards the peak, I stood, sat, lied down and took my rest to regain breath and energy that I much needed. The sky's already fully bright now though it was only a quarter past 6am. It was truly splendid up there, with the breathtaking views and scenic shots I managed to capture. I'm above the clouds! And once again, I'm marveled at His creation. So beautiful!
The journey downhill after breakfast from Laban Rata was...unexpected. It rained through the 5 hours and I was cold, feet soaked wet, hungry and alone. Worse still, I only had my bottle with me without any energy bar, and I was so hungry and strengthless. All I could do was keep going, faster and faster, to get something to eat when I got down to the Kinabalu park. To come to think of it, it was quite scary to have climbed down all by myself. But I was shown mercy, and experienced grace like never before.
Mt Kinabalu, 21-22 Aug 2010. My first encounter in the west tip of Borneo. I will be back.
Months ago when I was seriously considering to take the step of faith for this trip, it really gave me goosebumps thinking about it. It still does.
Having to go through the journey to the summit via Mesilau trail, it was really a time of testing my patience. Why Mesilau? Well according to CS, Mesilau is for Heroes and Timpohon are for Sissys...and I got up that trail, as a hero. Sweet. The 10 hour climb up 8.5km was long and painful, especially at the beginning i already have difficulty breathing and it was really painful literally. All through the journey I have this walking stick with me, which reminds me of 'Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me'. Indeed, times where I really couldnt go on anymore, I recited Psalms 23 to keep me going.
And finally, up to Laban Rata, just in time for dinner before it closes. That night was a cold and stressful night as everyone is trying hard to sleep in for the 2am climb to the summit. I made it up despite having the guide advising me not to. I felt ok that morning but once I started a 10min climb, I felt that I started to regret. But I wanted to keep going so much. Weather was exceptionally good that day and I knew, I could make it further. Steps after steps gets harder especially passed 7.5km...where breathing really gets tougher for me.
Looking at Low's peak, I eventually made a stop at 8.4km, a mere 300m away from the peak. Watching most of them striving hard towards the peak, I stood, sat, lied down and took my rest to regain breath and energy that I much needed. The sky's already fully bright now though it was only a quarter past 6am. It was truly splendid up there, with the breathtaking views and scenic shots I managed to capture. I'm above the clouds! And once again, I'm marveled at His creation. So beautiful!
The journey downhill after breakfast from Laban Rata was...unexpected. It rained through the 5 hours and I was cold, feet soaked wet, hungry and alone. Worse still, I only had my bottle with me without any energy bar, and I was so hungry and strengthless. All I could do was keep going, faster and faster, to get something to eat when I got down to the Kinabalu park. To come to think of it, it was quite scary to have climbed down all by myself. But I was shown mercy, and experienced grace like never before.
Mt Kinabalu, 21-22 Aug 2010. My first encounter in the west tip of Borneo. I will be back.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Still a child
Back to childhood
When time is longer
When mummy is younger
When doubts are greater
When dreams are further
When ideas are crazier
When roads are cleaner
When people are nicer
When friends are closer
When lifestyle is healthier
When hope is higher
When laughter is easier
When faith is simpler
Longing to go back in time
Where I will never be allowed to
Times when I can cry out loud for the simplest things
Not knowing that I can have the inability to do so one day
Yet when the world around is like a whirlwind
I am still welcomed
By the familiar Arms, wide opened
When time is longer
When mummy is younger
When doubts are greater
When dreams are further
When ideas are crazier
When roads are cleaner
When people are nicer
When friends are closer
When lifestyle is healthier
When hope is higher
When laughter is easier
When faith is simpler
Longing to go back in time
Where I will never be allowed to
Times when I can cry out loud for the simplest things
Not knowing that I can have the inability to do so one day
Yet when the world around is like a whirlwind
I am still welcomed
By the familiar Arms, wide opened
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
LOVE = R-I-S-K
爱真的需要勇气...the tune of Fish Leong's famous song was lingering in my mind as I got back from a short prayer time earlier...the phrase "what I need is courage" is hammering my thoughts so hard that I could feel it so strong...
Many times in our lives, we make choices to love. You choose to love the food you like, love the people who are dear to you, love the things you own, love the environment you're in...which is why I always believe that there's no such thing as 'I can't stop myself from loving...' As a matter of fact, it's a choice that we make, to love and not to love.
But what happens when you are called to love someone that you find so hard to love yet have no choice but to obey? Especially when you know you're vulnerable and prone to hurt, not just to yourself but possibly to others whom you love. [Selah]
I paused as I ended that sentence...someOne was called to love me, who are so imperfect and so hard to love, He knows He's vulnerable and compassion enough for me, and prone to be hurt by me, yet, He chose to obey. With that, I got my answer for tonight.
Love is many times spelt as R-I-S-K...I find so hard to take the step to continue loving, or loving more, I find myself drawing a boundary saying enough, I don't wanna know more...I don't have the courage to love, is because I don't want to take the risk. I'd rather keep in my comfort zone and do what I thought best. But someOne risked His life and took the costly way to redeem my life. And just as I was wondering how much would it cost me, I was told it's free. What if He turned around and decided at that very hour that I wasn't that worth for Him to love? Hopes dashed and burnt into ashes. But He took the risk. Loved me just as I am. And for the first time in my life, I too, took the risk to love someOne that I have never seen. By faith alone. If I can see everything that is happening ahead from me, that why do I need faith anyway?
What I got was grace. What I could give, is only grace.
Many times in our lives, we make choices to love. You choose to love the food you like, love the people who are dear to you, love the things you own, love the environment you're in...which is why I always believe that there's no such thing as 'I can't stop myself from loving...' As a matter of fact, it's a choice that we make, to love and not to love.
But what happens when you are called to love someone that you find so hard to love yet have no choice but to obey? Especially when you know you're vulnerable and prone to hurt, not just to yourself but possibly to others whom you love. [Selah]
I paused as I ended that sentence...someOne was called to love me, who are so imperfect and so hard to love, He knows He's vulnerable and compassion enough for me, and prone to be hurt by me, yet, He chose to obey. With that, I got my answer for tonight.
Love is many times spelt as R-I-S-K...I find so hard to take the step to continue loving, or loving more, I find myself drawing a boundary saying enough, I don't wanna know more...I don't have the courage to love, is because I don't want to take the risk. I'd rather keep in my comfort zone and do what I thought best. But someOne risked His life and took the costly way to redeem my life. And just as I was wondering how much would it cost me, I was told it's free. What if He turned around and decided at that very hour that I wasn't that worth for Him to love? Hopes dashed and burnt into ashes. But He took the risk. Loved me just as I am. And for the first time in my life, I too, took the risk to love someOne that I have never seen. By faith alone. If I can see everything that is happening ahead from me, that why do I need faith anyway?
What I got was grace. What I could give, is only grace.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Defining Beauty - Twins
Tiring day...i recalled last night when I had the pampering massage on my tired feet...wanna take the opportunity to introduce to you a friend who has passion in beauty and for girls to pamper and beautify themselves. Check out Twins Beauty Specialist @ Sunway Giza...The New Opening promotion is an unbelievable 50% off for everything on the menu!
Check out for yourself...and for the lovely nails i got last night, ain't they cute?
Check out for yourself...and for the lovely nails i got last night, ain't they cute?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Game Over
Never a football fan, nor someone who understood football. I actually set time apart to watch 3 matches this FIFA WC 2010. Can you believe it? You better do :)
I must say that I really gained a lot of knowledge about football...now I can understand why people likes staring at a screen with 20 over guys running after a tiny ball in a gigantic field. Well, at least that's what I did too, and I enjoyed. It's more than passing the ball and scoring the goal, each technique the players used to control the ball, passing the ball, and even some foul movements that looks so unreasonable but the referee didnt whistle, has a purpose and skill behind. Though I may not know how to kick it, but I truly start to like watching.
The only 3 matches I watched was GER vs ENG, GER vs ARG & GER vs ESP. I didnt actually recall when did I start supporting the Nazis. All in all, I still think they put up with a good team fighting spirit this WC. Set aside my fav Klose, all others were equally good and instead of some big players in the event that has a couple of super kickers in the team, not to mention that ENG really is disappointing, GER has what we call a football TEAM. [Say what you like, this is what I think. Yes, as a first-timer!]
It was a tensed match between GER & ESP. The Spanish were bulls enough where the Germans were defensive and reserved. If Muller is on the field it could be another different story. Some say Paul the blur sotong is the one mastering this whole game, with a convincing 100% correct prediction towards the German's matches. I wonder how many people change their minds on betting based on the sotong's prediction...I prayed hard for the sotong to be wrong, coz it's saddening to see people 'worshipping' it rather than the Maker. But He has greater plans. The Germans had to lose so that no more predictions from the sotong for WC Final. Or else, how many more will be affected by gambling their life away, and worse still based on the trust in a sotong...goodness!
A young and agressive squad, with a strong goalie, good attacking & defending skills, I really hope they will make it back in the next WC. Till then, let's see how the Spanish bulls kick out the potatoes~
I must say that I really gained a lot of knowledge about football...now I can understand why people likes staring at a screen with 20 over guys running after a tiny ball in a gigantic field. Well, at least that's what I did too, and I enjoyed. It's more than passing the ball and scoring the goal, each technique the players used to control the ball, passing the ball, and even some foul movements that looks so unreasonable but the referee didnt whistle, has a purpose and skill behind. Though I may not know how to kick it, but I truly start to like watching.
The only 3 matches I watched was GER vs ENG, GER vs ARG & GER vs ESP. I didnt actually recall when did I start supporting the Nazis. All in all, I still think they put up with a good team fighting spirit this WC. Set aside my fav Klose, all others were equally good and instead of some big players in the event that has a couple of super kickers in the team, not to mention that ENG really is disappointing, GER has what we call a football TEAM. [Say what you like, this is what I think. Yes, as a first-timer!]
It was a tensed match between GER & ESP. The Spanish were bulls enough where the Germans were defensive and reserved. If Muller is on the field it could be another different story. Some say Paul the blur sotong is the one mastering this whole game, with a convincing 100% correct prediction towards the German's matches. I wonder how many people change their minds on betting based on the sotong's prediction...I prayed hard for the sotong to be wrong, coz it's saddening to see people 'worshipping' it rather than the Maker. But He has greater plans. The Germans had to lose so that no more predictions from the sotong for WC Final. Or else, how many more will be affected by gambling their life away, and worse still based on the trust in a sotong...goodness!
A young and agressive squad, with a strong goalie, good attacking & defending skills, I really hope they will make it back in the next WC. Till then, let's see how the Spanish bulls kick out the potatoes~
Thursday, June 24, 2010
A new beginning...
Thinking about the 2 weeks, I closed my eyes and said a little prayer in my heart. Thank You. Are the words that filled me. I'm happy. And I can't help to have a smile.
The night before was a late one for me, is this us? the ones whom You have chosen to die for? Is this how You expect us to be? I woke up with a psalm of praise assuring that He is eternal, unchangeable, infinite, no matter who we are, what we do and how we behave.
In awe of His great plan, I am truly grateful for what God has done for me. Given His life for me, and still commit to never leave nor forsake me.
The 2 weeks that has passed, I'm in this new place, beginning another chapter of my life. Moments of fear or reluctance are no more. I am at peace, and know deep in my heart that He is, again, carefully planning every single part of my life. Crossing through another hurdle in my life, which togetherly struck me last year, I came out stronger, tougher, and more determined knowing that if He is with me, who can be against me? I'm thankful for His favor, blessing me with friends in this place that are helpful, opening a harvest field for me to continue His work through my life. The messages of Cultural Mandate are seemingly convincing, and it begins a new push in me. I know, I am here, as a visible being for them to connect those who cannot see the eternal parakletos.
Thank God for His grace.
Thank God for friends that walked with me.
Thank God for opened doors.
Thank God, for when I don't understand, and when I can't see His hand, I can trust His heart.
I'm happy, really happy, today.
The night before was a late one for me, is this us? the ones whom You have chosen to die for? Is this how You expect us to be? I woke up with a psalm of praise assuring that He is eternal, unchangeable, infinite, no matter who we are, what we do and how we behave.
In awe of His great plan, I am truly grateful for what God has done for me. Given His life for me, and still commit to never leave nor forsake me.
The 2 weeks that has passed, I'm in this new place, beginning another chapter of my life. Moments of fear or reluctance are no more. I am at peace, and know deep in my heart that He is, again, carefully planning every single part of my life. Crossing through another hurdle in my life, which togetherly struck me last year, I came out stronger, tougher, and more determined knowing that if He is with me, who can be against me? I'm thankful for His favor, blessing me with friends in this place that are helpful, opening a harvest field for me to continue His work through my life. The messages of Cultural Mandate are seemingly convincing, and it begins a new push in me. I know, I am here, as a visible being for them to connect those who cannot see the eternal parakletos.
Thank God for His grace.
Thank God for friends that walked with me.
Thank God for opened doors.
Thank God, for when I don't understand, and when I can't see His hand, I can trust His heart.
I'm happy, really happy, today.
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